And a man’s foes shall be they of his own
household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me:
and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (Matt.
10:36-37).
ARGUMENT:
“Christ states that our own family may be
our enemies; but, of course, we must love them. The apparent contradiction
comes when Christ says that we must hate our own family. Now in Matthew
10, He states that He means we are to love Him foremost. But if ‘hate’ means ‘love
less,’ how can we support a different meaning when it is used of the reprobate
wicked personified in Esau in Romans 9?”
(I)
Prof. Herman C. Hanko
[Source: Covenant Reformed News,
vol. 4, no. 17]
The
question of God’s love and hatred is not only a perplexing one for many people,
but the question of our calling to love and hate is also puzzling and the object
of much scrutiny and discussion. We have talked about this matter before in other
connections. So far as I recall, we have not discussed it in connection with
family ties.
It
is, however, obvious from the question that the questioner wants to know
whether the word “hate” in Scripture can ever be used in the sense of “love
less.” And if it can be used as meaning “love less,” in connection with family
relationships (where some members are believers and others are not), why cannot
it mean “to love less” when Scripture speaks of God’s hatred of Esau and of the
reprobate?
That
is a question worth discussing. It is well to remind ourselves, first of all,
that when the terms “love” and “hatred” are applied to God in Scripture, they
are always absolute and used as meaning exactly what we understand by them.
God
hates the wicked with a great hatred. This means that God is very displeased with
their sin, is determined to punish them in His just judgment, and drives them
from Him into everlasting hell. His hatred, however, is sovereign and eternal.
He hated Esau before Esau had done good or bad (Rom. 9:11-13).
God’s
love for His people is absolute as well. He loves them with a great love in
Jesus Christ. It is His desire and longing to bless them, make them
everlastingly happy, and take them into fellowship with Himself as His own
bride. That love, too, is eternal and sovereign, not in any way based on works.
When we were yet sinners, God loved us and sent Christ to die for us (Rom.
5:8).
While
it is true that we are called to be like God in our manifestations of love and
hate, it ought to be obvious to everyone that we cannot love and hate as God
does. We are creatures; He is the Creator. We are dependent; He is sovereign.
We are of this world and part of changing time; He is eternal and unchangeable.
We imitate God, indeed, but only in a creaturely way. If we will only remember
the difference between us and God, we will be saved from a lot of difficult
problems.
Thus
the love of God for His people manifests itself in: 1) a desire to save them; 2)
doing that which is necessary to save them; 3) actually saving them by taking
them into his own fellowship. This love of God we manifest towards our
neighbour—remembering that our neighbour is sometimes a member of our own
family.
God
knows those who are His; we do not know who are God’s people. But the love
manifested is the same essentially: 1) a desire to save our neighbour; 2) doing
that which is necessary to save our neighbour, i.e., bringing to him/her the
truth of Scripture, calling him/her to repent, urging upon him or her the
commands of the gospel.
God’s
love is sovereign and saving; ours is not. And so God’s love always accomplishes
its purpose in actual salvation; ours does not. Because of the difference
between the love of God for His people and our love as a reflection of God’s
love, we cannot actually bring the sinner into our fellowship. Therefore, if
God is pleased to use our testimony to save our neighbour—or member of our
family—we take them into our fellowship and enjoy the blessedness of the
communion of saints.
But
if our testimony made in love is not, according to God’s purposes, used by God
to save, then we cannot have full and true fellowship with them. If they are
members of our family, this becomes difficult. A believing wife must, according
to Scripture, remain with her unbelieving husband. A believing husband must remain
with his unbelieving wife—if at all possible. The fellowship they have is limited
to earthly relationships and cannot be the fellowship of Christ in which they
both share.
Believing
parents may keep an unbelieving child in the house as long as possible in the
hopes that God will bring him/her to repentance. But when the child grows to
adulthood and will not walk in the ways of the Lord, a child may have to be
told to leave the home. But in any case, fellowship between believing parents
and unbelieving children is limited to earthly relationships and can never be
the deeper and more blessed fellowship that two believers have especially in
the family.
I
can make one more remark yet about this.
When
we show the love of God in us by seeking the salvation of our neighbour (family
member), God uses our efforts to accomplish His purpose. Sometimes, as I
indicated, this purpose is indeed to bring to salvation (I Pet. 3:1, 2; James
5:20, etc.).
But
if our neighbour is not one of God’s elect, our efforts to bring such one to salvation
will always fail. And the more we bring God’s Word, the more hateful such a neighbour
will become. And the more hateful they become, the more impossible it will be,
not only to have fellowship with them, but even to witness to them. Their own
sin makes any further manifestation of love impossible.
In
everything, God’s purpose is accomplished. When that involves the family, it is
difficult—difficult beyond description. But the child of God finds peace in God’s
eternal purpose. And so we love Christ more than father or mother, sister or
brother, for we have fellowship with Christ. With father or mother, sister or
brother, we have fellowship when they love the Lord. When they do not, all
fellowship finally becomes impossible. The family of God in which we are
brothers and sisters and God our Father, is the great family to which we shall
eternally belong.
---------------------------------------------------
(II)
More
to come! (DV)
No comments:
Post a Comment